You did everything right. You followed the script.
You know the one… no one’s ever actually SEEN it, but it contains the steps you’re “supposed” to take in order to fulfill your lifelong dreams, where life looks like an Instagram reel of joy, bliss, good times, a successful, meaningful career, happy relationship, the 2.5 kids who are always clean, well-behaved, and looking adoringly into your eyes.
But, in reality, you don’t find work all that fulfilling
(shh… you spent a lot of years and have a lot of student loan debt for that degree that hangs on your office wall), you and your partner haven’t had sex, or even a real conversation, in weeks…months? (shh… your friends and family would be shocked that your relationship isn’t complete bliss), and you’re constantly annoyed by your kids (shh… being a parent was the biggest thing you wanted to get “right”).
You followed the damn script, but you’re still not happy. You’re burned out. You’re living in quiet desperation, unsure of what you did wrong. Sometimes you fantasize about running away, “burning it all down”, making radical changes in your life.
Your life is not what you
thought it would be.
We’re Erika, Becca, and Yolanda
We’ve been there before, too. We each thought we were the only ones struggling with these things, that maybe there was something wrong with each of us because we weren’t happy with the lives we were “supposed” to be living. We suffered in silence until we started to talk about real life together.
At first in whispers or jokes and then more openly, as we talked about the reality of our lives and careers we started to get an idea of what it’s like to be fully understood, to be really supported, and from this supportive understanding, to be able to experience real rest… now, not when the to-do list is complete.
This experience of real talk, support, and rest has changed our lives and relationships. We are happier, more satisfied, more connected, and more loved than ever before. We found (and continue to find) deep healing and peace in our relationships with each other. Sitting together in a cabin in the redwoods of Northern California we shared how lucky we feel to have found each other. Because we’re all trained as therapists, we couldn’t help but analyze how these deeply meaningful relationships came to be. And we knew we wanted to share this with others.